Friday, May 25, 2012

JubeJube Monster

I'm pretty embarrassed by how many Jube Jubes I've consumed this week. On Monday I bought a good sized bag as they were on sale and thought they would be a fun treat for the office. I put a bowl out on the edge of my desk, but only a couple of people perused the multi-coloured bowl of fun. I, on the other hand, pretty much didn't take said hand out of said bowl for any prolonged periods of time. I tried to coerce my co-workers into eating them but apparently they are only fiends when it comes to baked goods.

I'm sure I've put my teeth through irreparable damage this week. I swear I can feel cavities forming. I flossed twice yesterday and brushed extra hard to try to make up for the sugary damage I have likely caused. I have probably put myself on the fast track for diabetes as well. I checked the nutritional content and it's about 130 calories for 5 jubes. I've ate about 300, so that's 7,800 calories, which amounts to about 4 days worth. I am planning on starving myself this weekend to make up for it.

After I massacred an entire bowl of them on Tuesday, I moved the bowl over to Wendy's desk, which is approximately 10 feet from me. All this resulted in was me getting up ten times more often to grab a handful of chewy deliciousness. Yesterday I found a mutant jube jube in the bowl. I spent 15 minutes deciding whether or not to eat it. I asked Work Mom Wendy if she wanted it, she said no, so I played with it for a while and then, when my curiosity won out, I ate it. It tasted like a dehydrated staleish jube, a little less stick to your teeth.

Every time I look in the mirror I find a colored gelatin bit in one of my snaggle teeth. I just finished the second bowl. There are more in my desk drawer though. I feel sick to my stomach, although maybe it's the two week past expired yogurt I just ate, or maybe it's just a feeling of longing for more jube jubes.

1 comment:

  1. Always glad there are simple ways of keeping you happy at work and jube jubes are an acceptable vehicle to joy while at work. I'm only slightly afraid to ask but as your Work Mom I have the right to enquire to the success of your evacuation of all that sugar, and food colouring. I hope your intestines aren't stained rainbow colours.

    Next time you feel like barraging your colleagues in ill-eating and pure gluttony, bring homemade cupcakes.

    Now get those white strips and floss out and get cleaned up, young lady!

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