Early to Rise

Benjamin Franklin is quoted to have said: "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise."

Anyone that's ever had a sleepover with me probably harbors some resentment towards me about the hour in which I woke up in the morning. I don't really care to apologize, it's not my fault you are a light sleeper. I grew up in a family of (mostly - cough Lisa cough-) early risers. My dad and I were making plans for Saturday morning and I asked what time he would be picking me up and he said 8. My immediate reaction was to scoff and then barter. How about 9? Normally, I am awake, breakfasted, facebooked and at the gym by 8am on Saturday morning, BUT I don't HAVE to do any of that if I choose not to (like when I'm hungover). In return, he scoffed at 9AM. Not only did he scoff, but he said something about wasting the whole day away. I didn't bother arguing. Really, I feel the same way. I agreed he could pick me up at 8 for our errands. I didn't tell him this, but I am making him 1. stop at Starbucks or 2. take me for and buy me breakfast.

My usual route would be to wikipedia this but I had my doubts there would be a reference. Boy, was I wrong! Per Wikipedia:

Waking up early is a productivity method of rising early and consistently so as to be able to accomplish more during the day. This method has been recommended since antiquity and is presently recommended by a number of personal development gurus. The philosopher Aristotle said, "It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom."

Within the context of religious observances, spiritual writers have called this practice "the heroic minute," referring to the sacrifice which this entails.

Personal development writers have noted that waking up early can be developed through practice and correct preparation.

That is pretty much all it had to say, but man did I love every word of it. So now what I would like to do is help you all, all you sleeper-inners. I found a 13 step process called How to Wake Up Early, but that's a lot of steps, and I don't have the patience for that. SO how about 5 steps (with editorial comments in brackets).

1. Get a good nights sleep. (DUH, go to bed early and sleep soundly, keep your bedroom an oasis for sleeping).
2. Never press the snooze button.
3. Gradually go to sleep and wake up ten minutes earlier each day until you reach your goal time (goal time- crack of dawn).
4. Have someone else wake you up (this makes you not responsible for waking up early, so then if you sleep in you can blame the waker upper).
5. Cut the caffeine. No coffee or soda before bed. (I don't necessarily agree with this one, but hey if you suck at being up early you are the one who needs to make some changes).

OK, now go practice.
xo

Lone Dimple

"Hey, you only have one dimple," someone pointed out to me the other day. "Oh yeah!" I responded cleverly, in a super squeaky high pitched voice, face full of surprise. It wasn't even a fake mocking face of surprise either... it was an honestly shocked face. It's really not something that I've ever though too hard about.

I haven't always had this loner dimple- I think it grew in when I was a teenager. Now it's just kind of part of my face. Okay well not just kind of... it IS a part of my face. Ugh why do I use so many non-words? sigh. One day I'll get educated, I plomise.

Anyways, the reason this person pointed it out is they too had just one dimple. I think they thought this somehow provided us with an innate kinship. I disagreed. It did, however, provide me with a whole set of questions that I needed answered.

First off. Why just the one? I tried smiling super hard to see if I could make a matching one appear on my other cheek. No matter how hard I tried my left cheek refused to dimple. I examined my smile to see if perhaps it was a bit lopsided and maybe years of smiling crookedly inhibited a left dimple from forming... The only thing that proved was that I had food in my teeth.

I then checked pictures of Manda's face to see if perhaps she got the other one, but she did not- dimpleless that girl is.

So where has it gone, or perhaps more accurately, why does it cease to be? Why am I a one-dimpled-wonder? Lucky for you this is not a rhetorical question. I have answers! Their legitimacy may be arguable, but at least it'll help me sleep at night.

OK. Firstly, as per usual, Wikipedia.

Dimples may appear and disappear over an extended period.[2] Dimples may play a role in sexual selection.[3] Some cultures, for example Asian and Indo-ethnic sub-groups, prefer dimples as a sign of attractiveness and veracity.[4] Dimples may be genetically inherited and have been called a simple dominant trait.

Next, I decided to see what WiseGeek.com had to say on the subject. I tried StupidIdiot.com, but they didn't have anything to say on the topic.

The genetics of dimples is actually rather interesting. Dimples are a dominant trait, which means that it only takes one gene to inherit dimples. If neither of your parents has dimples, you shouldn't have them either, unless you experience a spontaneous mutation. If one of your parents has dimples, you have a 25-50% chance of inheriting the gene, since it means that parent inherited the gene from one or both parents. If both of your parents have dimples, you have a 50-100% chance of inheriting the gene, depending on how they inherited their dimple genes.

In most cases, facial dimples appear on the cheeks, although they can also pop up on the chin, and they are typically not visible until someone smiles. The changes in the face caused by a smile will bring out the dimple. However, some people only have a dimple on one side; this physical trait can actually be rather endearing.

Did you read that? RATHER ENDEARING! I am officially storing my dimple for special occasions now, or when I need to pull out the big guns to charm someone. Beware world!

After reading that dimples are inherited I polled the family to see who else has an affected face. You'd think I'd just know off the top of my head. You'd be wrong. Lisa says she kind of does. Amanda doesn't have bbm any more so is no longer reachable- but I am 80 percent certain her face is free of dents. I assume Mommadukes and Daddykins have or had them when they were young and fresh. If I had to take a guess, I would go with Glenn....

BREAKING NEWS> Carol just text me back. She has two dimples apparently. Interesting. Unfortunately, she's working so I can't get more than an affirmation from her at this time. Glenn's dimple status is still yet to be determined. But really, I feel my work here is done. We all can leave here a little bit more educated on something super non-consequential. You're welcome.

xo shelly.